no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
