their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
