And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize