I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
