Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
