Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so let's talk penis.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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