I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
