Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
