so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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