so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
