Tell her she can't have a vagina
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
