You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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