i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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