So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
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