I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
