Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
