I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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