Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
