if i can run in heels then i can drive
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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