you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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