I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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