We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
