Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
