she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
