He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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