i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
