I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Randomize
