my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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