Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
