you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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