apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
