im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
