I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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