i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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