Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
