I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
