just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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