he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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