idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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