Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
