Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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