You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
