I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Vodka?
Forever.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
