DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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