I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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