opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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