i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
