Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
