Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
