I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
