so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
