I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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