shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
two words...techno handjob
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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