worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
