I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
