He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
