had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it glows. i had to have it.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
