Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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