Porn is love you can see.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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