Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
