Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
