1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
