just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
